


tell me how to be in this world

by emilia_kaisa



Series: way down we go [3]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, Falling In Love, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hospitals, Multi, Not Beta Read, Some Humor, this is basically WDWG rewrite from Gabby's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 09:42:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17118974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: "Gabby was wondering too, a lot. She couldn't help but look at Yuzuru, at his exhausted, miserable expression, and slowly connecting all the pieces. She didn't want to make any assumptions, but she was pretty sure that she could see something both Yuzuru and Javier didn't realize yet."(aka Gabby watches Yuzuru and Javi developing feelings for each other and on the way she finds somebody for herself too)





	tell me how to be in this world

**Author's Note:**

> So in 'way down we go' I hinted Gabby/Keiji and now I'm the only sailor on this ship (tbh I only matched them because I like them a lot and they're super attractive hah). Anyway, this is a story from WDWG said from Gabby's pov and I actually liked it a lot! I hope you enjoy this story (pls remember that English is not my first language, I was trying!).  
> Title from 'Us' by James Bay (it gives major feels!)

 

Gabby was sipping her latte and grumpily clicking through the car register, cursing Scott and Tessa's stupidly boring case. So when the phone rang she picked it up gladly, hoping for something to save her from that misery.

„Hey Gabby.” Katelyn said, her voice a little bit tense „I need you to get info about Jamie Walters and find his closest relatives.”

„Sure.” Gabby nodded to herself, typing the name in „I'm on it.”

„Great. Give it to Javi as soon as you can, okay?”

„Wait, he got another case? This should be illegal.”

„Yeah, tell me about it.” Katelyn sighed „Gotta go.”

„Good luck!” Gabby exclaimed and got back to work immediately.

She liked to complain how she was overworked and was constantly asking the chief to hire one more person to help her and Keegan, but poor Javier had it even more difficult. He was working alone for months now, and no new partner in sight. It was so clear that it was taking a tool on his body, as he looked completely exhausted all the time, but he never complained.

Gabby shook her head with a sigh and focused on her task.

 

She was walking down the corridor with a file in her hand when she decided to be a great colleague and do something nice for her friend. So she stopped by the kitchen and set the coffee machine. She started humming quietly, moving around, when suddenly she heard voices coming from the corridor.

„- and it looks just like that Japanese girl who got murdered a few days ago-”

„Man, Fernandez has such shit luck lately-”

Gabby winced, but he couldn't stop a slight feeling of professional excitement. A serial killer? That would be such a challenge.

When she entered Javier's office he was sitting with his face hidden in his hands and her heart squeezed with sympathy.

„Here.” she said with a smile, handing him his coffee and the victim's file. Javier looked up at her, smiling at her a bit tiredly, and she tried her best to cheer him up with some light teasing and joking, and then left to continue her work.

 

 

The next day she was still half asleep when she walked into the station, and she almost bumped into some weird guy in dark suit and she almost tumbled.

„I'm sorry.” she mumbled and he gave her a polite smile before walking away.

„Oh my gooood.” Jason sqeaked when the guy was gone „That was already too much emotions for me today!”

„Who's that?”

„I don't know, but he asked me where the chief's office was, and Gabby, his eyes were so intense I thought I was gonna pass out!” Jason exclaimed dramatically and she almost snorted.

„Amazing.” Gabby said, rolling her eyes „Let's focus on the work and not our mysterious guests, okay?”

„Ugh, fine.” Jason pouted „I should have a technician's report for Javi soon, I can already tell the poor guy's gonna have his hands full with this one.”

Gabby just nodded and went to her office, ready to do some clicking. Chief Orser had made it clear that Javier's case was a priority for them, so she jumped right into it. The day before Javier had asked her to find some info about Walters' connection with Japan and that was what she was going to do. It didn't take her long to discover that he had been on an internship in Sato Softwares a few years back, and she felt a sting of excitement. She was familiar with that company, probably like everyone even remotely interested in IT, and she couldn't help but feel excited.

Gabby almost ran to Javier's office and shared the news with him. He looked pretty tired and a bit overwhelmed by her rapid chatter, but smiled brightly at the end.

„Wow, that's a lot of info.” he said, his expression grateful „Thanks, Gabby.”

„At your service.”

She wanted to get back to his case immediately, but before that had to do some crucial last minute work for Tessa. So when Jason sticked his head into her office and waved with a technicians' report, she only had a phone register ready; still, she got up and went for yet another trip to Javi's office.

But when she rushed in there with a triumphant grin on her face, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw someone sitting by Patrick's old desk.

„Oh, hello.” she said hesitantly. She realized it was the guy she had seen briefly in the morning, and yes, his gaze was definitely intense.

„Gabby, this is agent Hanyu from interpol, we'll be working on the case together. Gabby's our

saviour, if you need to find any data you just go to her.” Javier explained shortly and agent Hanyu nodded in her direction. Gabby gave him a reserved smile and left rather quickly.

There was something in the air between Javier and agent Hanyu, something she couldn't quite put her fingers on just yet. Javier seemed slightly uncomfortable and stressed out, and Hanyu's stare could kill. Gabby just hoped that they would be getting along well. Javier was the nicest, kindest guy Gabby had ever met, and she didn't want him to struggle.

She was about to start dealing with Waletrs' bank when there was a knock to the door- frame and she met chief Orser's smile.

„Hello, Gabby.” he said, sitting on a chair on the other side of her desk „I've some news for you.”

„I hope it doesn't mean more work.” she half joked and he rolled his eyes.

„Have you met agent Hanyu already?”

She nodded.

„The murders of Jamie Walters and Kumi Adachi are connected, but you probably figured it out already- they were both working in Sato Softwares at some point. But agent Hanyu isn't here just beacuse of Adachi- there were two similar murders in Japan lately.”

„So we've an international serial killer?”

„Probably.” chief Orser sighed „That's what they have have to figure out, with your help.” he smiled at her, and she absolutely adored how much he always believed in them „I talked with Interpol bureau in Tokyo and they also have someone working on collecting data on our Japanese victims. I gave them your contact details and I expect some good cooperation here.”

„Of course.” Gabby nodded; she had done that before, all that co- working and gathering data with people she had never seen. She hoped that in that case their biggest difficulty would be timezones.

So when the chief left her office, Gabby immediately went to check her email.

 

_Hello!_

_My name is Keiji, and I was just assigned to work with you on the „Japan- Canada” case. I already gathered some basic data about the Japanese victims; I've already sent them to Yuzuru, but I thought you'd like to have them to just in case, so you'll find them in the attachment. Just let me know what you need me to get in here and I'll try my best! If you want to switch to some other communicator don't hesitate to tell, we can even skype to make things faster._

_Best regards,_

_Keiji Tanaka._

 

Gabby blinked, quite surprised by the informal language, but at the same time she really liked it. Judging by the tone and style, Keiji was an open and funny guy, and she was hoping for a nice cooperation. She quickly noted Keiji's contact data and opened her skype. She glanced at the time and quickly calculated that it was a reasonable morning hour in Japan, so she knew she could call him without worrying about waking him up.

She didn't have any expectations and a second later reality slapped her in the face.

„Hi!” Keiji smiled at her, the feed surprisingly clear, and Gabby had to try her best not to gape. He was way too handsome.

„Um, hi! I just got your message and thought I'd call!” she said, a bit nervously „I hope I'm not interrupting you?”

„No, no, I was waiting for you!” he exclaimed happily and then titled his head, looking at her curiously „Your name's Gabby, right?”

„Yes, yes.” she nodded. She wanted to kick herself, because she was acting ridiculous. Maybe she was single for too long and now one cute guy was making her blush and stutter „It's nice to meet you, Keiji.”

„You too!” he had a slight accent that somehow made him even more charming „So what do you need from me now?”

„Bank reports.” she said, her brain kicking back into action „I'm gonna take care of Walters', but I'm gonna need you to deal with the rest.”

„I've got you.” he said with a smile „But it can take some time, procedures and everything.”

„Of course.”

„I'm on it, then.” Keiji said with a smile and Gabby smiled back „I'll be in touch!”

The call ended and Gabby almost facepalmed.

„What was that.” she muttered to herself, shaking her head. It was like she had never seen a cute guy before. Someone would think that after working with Javier for so long she would be immune to such amount of charm.

„Wooork!” she sang to herself and decided to act like a professional.

 

 

It took Keiji some time to gather all the info, but his excitement when he finally got it was adorable. Gabby was still smiling to herself when she knocked to Javier's office- she was doing that since Yuzuru had appeared, she didn't want to startle him.

„I've got bank reports of Adachi, Yamada and Watanabe. Sorry it took so long, there were some

diffculties with getting all the procedures done.” she said, handing copies to Javier and Yuzuru, and Javier smiled at her brightly.

„You're irreplaceable.” he said and she blushed slightly- that was the power of Javier's compliments.

„That's one is Keiji's doing, he's really doing wonders.” she admitted and Javier raised his eyebrows.

„And who's Keiji?” he asked and he could practically feel her cheeks burning even more.

„Just a poor minion like me, but he works in Tokyo.” she said and then leaned forward a bit,

lowering her voice, deciding to tell him a little secret „We skyped a little. He's really cute.”

Javier looked like he wanted to laugh, but he just nodded with a grin. Yuzuru didn't seem to notice anything at all, buried in the file she had brought.

When she got back to her office there was already a message from Keiji.

> I hope they enjoy the good read I delivered!

< They for sure are, Yuzuru was already halfway when I was leaving their office.

< Is he always like that?

> You mean intense and professional?

< And cold and grumpy?

> He's not that bad, but yes. But I hope he behaves decently?

< Idk, him and Javi look pretty tense.

< If he's an asshole to my friend I'll kick his ass.

> If he's an asshole I'll come to help you.

 

Gabby bit her lip, surpressing a laughter. Keiji was even more funny and sweet that she had thought in the beggining. They were talking a lot, not only about work, but also about other stuff, and she enjoyed it a lot. He was nice and had a great sense of humor, and she could tell that they could become pretty good friends soon. It didn't bother her that they probably wouldn't meet soon or anything- it was just nice to talk with someone new, nice and refreshing.

 

* * *

 

Something changed between Javier and Yuzuru.

Gabby visited their office one day and was a bit shocked to see their wide smiles and hear how well they were communicating now. She didn't know what was it all about, but she was glad that they were working things out. Maybe in the end she wouldn't have to call Keiji to help her.

But she wasn't the only one who noticed change in the atmosphere.

„Heyyy” Scott smiled at her slyly when she met him in the kitchen „Have you seen the lovebirds today?”

„Hmm?” she hummed, not really paying attention to Scott's weird ramblings, and he whined.

„Come on, I can't be the only one who sees all the hearteyes Javi and Hanyu are giving each other.”

„I wouldn't call it hearteyes.” Gabby said and Scott rolled his eyes.

„Fine, sexual tension.” he said and she almost spilled her tea.

„What the fuck?”

„Oh come on, Javi could use a little-”

„I'm not listening!” she yelled, exiting the kitchen and going straight to her office.

It was nice that Javier and Yuzuru were getting along so well, but she wouldn't take it as far as Scott. But well, that was Scott, a hyperactive child who would steal your lunch and see romance everywhere.

On the other hand, she kinda agreed that Javier could use somebody; it had been so long since Miki and even though Gabby could see that he was in a better condition than before, but she knew that he was still lonely.

Javier was the sweetest, kindest person she had ever met, and she was pretty sure that everybody was at some point at least a little bit in love with him. And it was heartbreaking, to see him struggle so much in his personal life.

 

 

< do u have any good methods to fall asleep?

> Gabby, you're okay? Isn't it 2am in Toronto now?

< it is

< I'll take anything

**incoming call from Keiji**

 

**> **A part of me is kinda insulted that you fell asleep after ten minutes of listening to my voice.

< Noooo

< Apparently your voice is the best cure for my insomnia now

> Does it mean I should call you everyday?

< Only if you want to

 

* * *

 

The investigation was rushing forward and before Gabby knew it she was sending Javier Iva Kostelić's car number. It was hard to swallow, the disappointment she felt when she realized that her long time idol was probably a cold blood murderer. She complained to Keiji about it and he sent her some crazy music videos to cheer her up. So when she was walking down the corridor and heading home, she was in a pretty good mood.

Until she saw them.

Yuzuru was leaning against the wall, Javier right in front of him, only mere inches separating them. For a second Gabby thought that Scott had been right and they were actually going to make out; but then she saw how Javier's expression twisted, and she saw the cold, distant Yuzuru gave him, and she knew that that was something only they understood. But then Yuzuru left, almost running away, and Gabby's heart squeezed when she saw Javier's pained face.

„Javi? Is everything okay?” she asked carefully, standing next to him. He blinked rapidly before giving her a very weak imitation of a smile.

„Yeah.”

„You're a shitty liar, Javi.”

„I'm-” he tried, but the words were clearly stuck in his throat, so Gabby did the only thing she could- she hugged him. Javier hid his face in her shoulder, inhaling deeply and clinging to her a little bit too tight, and Gabby felt an overwhelming mix of anger and sadness.

She was going to find that fucking jerk and kick his ass. She didn't know what he had done, exactly, but Javier was clearly upset and that was enough for her.

„I don't know what's happening.” Javier said quietly and Gabby's heart broke just a little bit „I don't know what to do.”

„It's gonna be okay, Javi.” she said weakly and heard his deep, shaky exhale.

„How do you know?”

„Because if life is at least a little bit fair, you'll get it all back, all that kindness you're giving to

everybody.” Gabby said, suddenly more sure than ever.

„I'm not so sure.”

„Shut up, I'm smarter than you.” she said and then Javier finally smiled.

„That you are.” he said „Thank you, Gabby. Really.”

„Always at your service.” she replied, smiling widely, even though everything inside her was hurting. She didn't know what was going on and why Javier was so miserable, but she just knew that he deserved only kindness and happiness.

 

 

The next day was intense and busy, but she was still trying to give that asshole Yuzuru her most deadly stares. He didn't seem to notice, or he didn't even care, which only angered her more. She didn't see Javier except of a quick, short meeting in the morning. He looked tired and pale, but he pulled off his greatest smile, probably only for her sake.

Gabby was in a bad mood the whole day, and when Yuzuru rushed in literally half an hour before the end of her shift, she made sure to look like she wasn't pleased to see him.

„How can I help you?” she asked flatly and he gave a tight smile.

„Could you tell me if Kostelić owns any property, other than the apartment we already searched?”

She wanted to ask him some questions about that, but she just bit her tongue and dutifully did what he asked.

„Here.” Gabby scribbled the adress on a piece of paper and handed it too him „It's in the suburbs, but Javi should know where it is.”

There was a flash of something on his face when she mentioned Javier's name, but he just nodded, glaring at the adress.

„We're gonna check it. Thank you, Gabby.” Yuzuru said and she just nodded.

She prepared a note for Keegan, telling what needed to be done, but then she narrowed her eyes, suddenly unsure. He was a bit worried about Javier and decided to check on him, just to be sure he knew what him and Yuzuru were doing and they wouldn't take irresponsible risks.

Javier picked up pretty quickly, but his voice was tired and just slightly annoyed.

„I hope it's super important, Gabby.”

„Come on, you're not sleeping.” she rolled her eyes; maybe he wasn't too pleased to talk with her while on the way to check some house, but she just cared „Look, I'm going home, but if you and Yuzuru need more info, Keegan is taking a night shift. And if you'll need back- up tonight, Maddie's on the phone so you're good.”

„What would I need back- up?” Javier muttered absently and Gabby felt a sting of irritation; it really wasn't the best moment to play dumb.

„Well if you find Sato, what's going on with you?”

„I've no idea what you're talking about.” he said, exasperated, and Gabby's stomach twisted with sudden realization.

That fucking asshole.

„Gabby, what's going on?”

„So literally half an hour ago your partner rushed in and demanded to show him the list of

Kostelić's properties. She actually has an apartment in the centre and a small house fifteen

kilometers from the city. He told me he would call you and you'd check it.” she said quickly and she could hear how Javier's breathing hitched.

„Fuck. Fuck, I'm going to kill him.” he spat out and Gabby knew that her suspicion was right „Text me the adress, okay?”

„Sure. You're gonna be okay?” she asked anxiously and he absently told her not to worry.

She was blankly staring at the screen in front of her and it was Keegan who woke her up from her daze by clearing his throat discreetly.

„Hey there.” he said, smiling at her with understading, probably thinking that he was just exhausted „Go and rest, I'll take care of everything now.” he said kindly and she gave him a small smile.

„You know-” she said, moving on the other chair and taking some random file in her hands „- I've some paperwork to do, so I'll stick around for a moment.”

„Okay.” Keegan shrugged and she was glad that he didn't ask more questions; he was just nice like that.

She was pretending to be working, but she was mostly stealing glances at her phone, checking if Javier wasn't calling. It was pretty obvious that Yuzuru hadn't called Javier and went to check the property alone, and Gabby could only imagine how pissed Javier was. It was so not professional and irresponsible she wished Javier would tell chief Orser about all of that. He probably wouldn't, though, because he was too damn nice and forgiving.

In the end it was Maddie who brought them news. She bursted into their office a few minutes after nine, her face pale and eyes wide.

„Guys, Hanyu just called for an ambulance. Javi got shot.”

Gabby's heart stopped for a moment and then she jumped up.

„Which hospital?”

„St. Michael's. Gab-”

„Call the chief, I'm going there.”

It was the first time in forever when she grabbed a taxi, but she didn't even care how much money would it cost. She was terrified and angry, and she was praying that Javier was okay. He had to be.

„Is Javier Fernandez here?” she asked, not really caring how desperate she sounded; she knew that the receptionist wouldn't tell her any details, she just wanted to know where to go.

„Operating block is that way.” the receptionist said with a kind smile, showing her the right direction and she practically ran.

Before the entrance to the block were some chairs and she immediately spotted a familiar figure slumped on one of them, and her throat clenched. Her blood started circling furiously in her veins and she clenched her fists. She stopped right in front of him, not really caring about good manners anymore.

„If something happens to him you're dead, you hear me?” she said lowly, trying her best to control the trembling of her voice „I don't care, I won't let you fucking get away with that.”

Yuzuru was looking at her with wide, dark eyes that seemed to hide bits of madness in them.

„Okay.” he said hoarsely „Do whatever you want. I don't care.” he added and hid his face in his hands.

Gabby was still pissed beyond belief, but she noticed how his shoulders were trembling, and she decided to calm herself down.

„So he went there after you, right?” she asked and Yuzuru exhaled deeply, not changing his position, and somehow all her efforts to stay calm went to a trashcan „You didn't wait for him and he didn't wait for back- up either, because he was scared that-”

„Please.” Yuzuru said, looking up at her with despair in his eyes „Please stop.”

A part of her still wanted to yell at him, but Gabby couldn't help but notice his state. He was pale and shaky, with three stitches on his temple and fresh bruise on his jaw. She almost felt sorry for him. Almost. So she pressed her lips together and sat on the chair next to him.

„You talked with someone?” she asked after a few minutes of silence and Yuzuru shook his head.

„They didn't want to tell me anything.” he said, his voice tight, and Gabby's heart squeezed with a sudden realization that Javier's closest family was still not informed and on the other side of the ocean.

„I should call his family.” she said to herself and Yuzuru paled even more „What am I supposed to tell them?”

„Well, what do we know?”

Gabby breathed out with relief when she heard Orser's voice coming from behind her.

„We don't know anything.” she said, turning to look at him „I just came here and agent Hanyu-” she stopped, not really knowing what to say, and the chief moved his gaze to Yuzuru.

„What happened?” he asked sternly, his voice piercing, and Yuzuru looked like he was about to fall from the chair.

And with that, Gabby suddenly felt a sharp sting of sympathy for him.

„They went to check Kostelić's house in the suburbs.” she said, surprizing even herself „They split and then it happened.”

„Is it true?” Orser asked and Yuzuru stared at him for the moment before he looked at Gabby and nodded silently „I'll need a report on that. Now excuse me.” he said and walked over to a woman in a doctor's gown who just exited an operating block.

„Why did you do that?” Yuzuru asked quietly and Gabby shook her head.

„Because I know Javi, and I know that he wouldn't want you to get in trouble for that.” she said with a wince „I'd gladly tell chief what I know, but I want only nice things for Javi when he wakes up.”

Yuzuru opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then chief Orser was back, his face unreadable.

„How is he? Is he gonna be okay?” Gabby asked and he sighed.

„He lost a lot of blood and they cut out a piece of his lung, but he should be okay.”

„Oh thank God.” Gabby said, feeling a little bit lighter „Okay, good. Okay.” she rambled, relief slowly spreading in her body.

„Yes.” chief nodded and then winced „I need to inform his family.”

„I can do that.” Gabby offered „I met his sister when she visited last year, maybe it's better if she hears that from someone she knows.”

Chief looked at her for a moment, clearly conflicted, but then nodded. Gabby gave him a slight smile and then decided to go outside to have a little privacy during the call.

It was tough, tougher than she had expected it to be. Laura was trying her best to stay calm, but Gabby could sense her shock and fear, and she was feeling weaker and weaker with every passing moment. By the end of the call she was so emotionally drained she barely made it inside. Feeling a little sick, she went straight to a restroom and locked herself in a stall. She sat down and took a deep, shaky breath.

And then, she started crying.

Gabby pressed her hands to her mouth, trying to muffle her sobs. She didn't know why it hit her right now, when she knew that Javier would be okay. Maybe all the adrenaline finally left her body and she was catching up with all the emotions. It took her a few minutes and a lot of deep breaths to finally calm down and then took her phone with shaky fingers. She hesitated for a moment before pressing a call button.

Keiji picked up after three rings.

„Hey.” he said „What's up?”

Gabby opened her mouth but no sound left them, her mind blank. Why did she call him? What she even wanted to say?

„I'm-” she started and then cleared her throat, and heard how Keiji inhaled deeply.

„Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?”

„I can't-” she knew she couldn't really tell him the whole story now, sitting in a restroom in one of so many Toronto hospitals. They were friends, but that would be too much now, and she couldn't bring herself to do that.

„I just wanted-” she swallowed hard „Could you tell me that everything's going to be okay?”

„Everything will be fine.” he said quickly „What's going on?”

„I can't tell you now, but I will.” she said „I just wanted to hear your voice.” she admitted quietly and Keiji breathed out deeply.

„It's gonna be okay.” he said once again, softly „Whatever it is, you're gonna get through it. And call me anytime, okay?”

„Okay.” Gabby said softly and hang up. She took a deep breath and quickly fixed her make- up before exiting the restroom.

When she got back to the waiting room Yuzuru and chief were talking to a young nurse who was shaking her head with a doubtful expression.

„What's going on?” she asked, approaching them quickly.

„They patched Javi up and he's in a room, but they're not sure if it's a good idea to visit him.” Orser explained, smiling at the nurse politely.

„He's still asleep and he really needs rest now.” the nurse explained and Gabby narrowed her eyes, thinking about all the medical shows she had watched.

„Why he's asleep? You didn't wake him up?”

„Sometimes, when the surgery is complicated, we don't wake them up right after.” she said and then sighed „I understand that you worry about him, but it might be the best if-”

„Please.” Yuzuru said suddenly, and Gabby looked at him; he was still pale and he was trying to smile, but he's eyes were pleading „I just need to see him. Please.”

Gabby's heart stuttered and the nurse gave Yuzuru a long, compassionate look.

„Okay.” she said finally „But not all of you and only five minutes.”

„Thank you.” chief Orser nodded and Gabby noticed the weird look he gave Yuzuru „You two can go, I've some calls to make. Are you planning to stay here?”

„Yes.” Yuzuru said immediately and Gabby just nodded silently.

„Good. Keep me updated on him, okay?”

The room Javier was in wasn't very spacious; the other bed was occupied by a young man who blinked at them tiredly.

„I'm sorry, we just for a moment.” Gabby said apologetically and he gave them a surprisingly bright smile.

„It's okay.” he reassured them and closed his eyes.

Javier looked calm, for the lack of better word. His bandaged chest was raising in regular, steady breaths and Gabby's heart clenched. Yuzuru dropped heavily on a chair right next to the bed, breathing out deeply, and Gabby suddenly felt like an intruder a little bit. She wasn't exactly sure what was going on between them, what had happened; he was still mad at Yuzuru, but she couldn't ignore how much shaken he was. So she gave Javier one last look and then cleared her throat quietly.

„I'm gonna go buy some coffee in a cafeteria. You want something?”

„No, thank you.” Yuzuru said, a little bit hoarsely, and Gabby nodded.

„I'll be in a waiting room.” she added and walked out of the room. When she was by the door she heard a quiet, choked out muttering in Japanese, and then the other guy shifted in his bed, like he was turning around. Gabby decided not to think about it and went to fuel herself with some coffee. She also bought a bottle of water for Yuzuru and went back to the waiting room; Yuzuru appeared soon after, his expression blank. He flopped on a chair next to her and inhaled shakily. Gabby handed him the water bottle and he took it after a few seconds, taking a hesitant sip.

„We can take turns.” Gabby offered after a moment; it was a middle of the night and Yuzuru looked dead on his feet. But he just shook his head stubbornly.

„I'm not going anywhere until he wakes up.” Yuzuru said flatly and Gabby winced; it didn't sound like the most responsible thing to do, but she knew there was no chance she could change his mind.

„Fine.” she said, and then, after a moment „I talked with his sister, she will come here as fast as possible.”

Yuzuru didn't say anything, but his fist clenched convulsively.

They sat in silence for the next two hours and then Gabby announced she was going to go home for a few hours and once again suggested that Yuzuru should do the same. But he shook his head and she didn't try to convince him.

She took a shower and then had a few hours of sleep, waking up at 6 am. She was about to leave when she suddenly got an idea and got back to her bedroom to pick up a few things.

„Here.” Gabby said, handing Yuzuru a plastic bag. He looked up at her, dark circles under his eyes, blinking like he couldn't understand „I brought you some fresh clothes. My ex was a bit taller than you, but I thought you'd like to change.” she added, trying not to stare at blood stains on his cuffs.

„Thank you.” he said quietly, standing up slowly. He looked tired and stiff, and Gabby felt sorry for him. He had spent all night in here, on a plastic chair in that waiting room, while he should be resting after the previous days' events. She might dislike him, but she wasn't cruel.

A few minutes later Yuzuru sat next to her and Gabby noticed a few drops on his face, and she wondered if they were tears or just water.

„Any news?” she asked and he shook his head.

„They didn't tell me anything, only that I could go to him at 8am.” he said and Gabby checked the time quickly- they still had half an hour „Apparently chief Orser is his emergency contact, that's why they told him everything earlier.”

„It makes sense, he has no family in here.” Gabby said quietly and then looked straight at Yuzuru „I need you to tell me one thing.” she said, her voice firm „Why did you do that?”

Yuzuru stared at her, his eyes wide.

„Why did you go there alone?” she pressed and there was spasm on his face, his muscles twitching.

„I thought it would be better.” he said quietly, not looking her in the eyes „I really did.”

„But why?” Gabby insisted again, because she just wanted to understand; maybe knowing Yuzuru's motives would make it easier for her to forgive him „You didn't trust him or-?”

„No, no.” Yuzuru stammered, looking almost frantic, and Gabby wondered; she knew that something had happened between them, and she remembered Javier's sad expression when she saw him a few days back. She was so ready to kick Yuzuru's ass for whatever he had done, but now she was starting to think that she needed to see the whole picture.

„Look, I just-” Gabby sighed „I'm angry at you, okay, but I don't want to judge you without knowing everything. You don't have to tell me what's going on between you, but I just need some explanation.”

Yuzuru swallowed visibly, with difficulty, and looked her in the eyes.

„I trust him more than he knows.” he said quietly and Gabby frowned, surprized „But I didn't want him there. I thought I could do it alone.”

That didn't explain everything, but Gabby had a sudden feeling that he was misdjudging him a little bit. She wanted to know more, but Yuzuru's expression was pained and she decided to keep her mouth shut.

„Let's go see him.” she said softly; she needed to go back to work soon and she wanted to check on Javier before leaving.

He was still deeply asleep and Gabby couldn't help but feel worried. Yuzuru, judging by his pale face, was going through the same.

„Why he's not waking up?” he asked shakily and Gabby shook her head silently, already planning to beg someone to share details of Javier's condition.

„Apparently he had an unexpectedly strong reaction to the narcosis.”

Gabby span around to look at the guy lying on the other bed. He had kind eyes and nice smile, and she trusted him already.

„I overheard his doctor talking to a nurse when they were checking on him earlier.” the guy explained and Gabby felt a sting of worry- that sounded pretty serious.

„I'll ask the chief to call them and get some details.” she said and Yuzuru nodded, his eyes never leaving Javier „I gotta go, but call me if anything, okay?”

„Okay.”

Gabby didn't feel comfortable with leaving Javier like that, but she had her obligations and beside that, she knew that he was in good hands.

On her way to the station she got a message from Laura with an information that she and their mom were just boarding a flight and they would arrive in late evening.

„Gabby, what's going on? Is Javi okay?” Jason asked as soon as he saw her, his expression worried. Gabby smiled at him tiredly, shaking her head.

„He had a surgery and he hasn't waken up yet. I'm gonna harass the chief to get more info out of them.”

Then she had an exact same talk with Scott and Keegan, and when she sat in front of her computer she was already exhausted. She was about to do a background check of one guy when there was a characteristic sound of an incoming skype call.

„Hi.” Keiji smiled gently at her and her heart stuttered unexpectedly „How are you?”

„Good.” she said with slight difficulty „Isn't it like, super late in Japan now?”

Keiji just made a face and chose to ignore that question.

„I was worried about you.” he said softly and a part of her was ovetwhelmed with fondness while the other one was feeling guilty about bothering him earlier.

„It's just-” she hesitated for a moment „- it's Javi. He got shot yesterday.”

„What?” Keiji's eyes widened „What happened? Is he okay?”

„He's alive.” Gabby said, a little bit shakily „They went for a suspect and it happened then.” she hid her face in her hands for a moment „I'm sorry, I'm exhausted and probably look like shit.” she chuckled humorlessly, but Keiji just shook her head with gentle expression.

„You are beautiful.” he said quietly and her heart sped up for a moment „And strong, just like him. It's all gonne be fine, I promise.”

„I know.” she said, her voice catching in her throat. She wanted to tell him how much it meant to her, that he was always there, and that despite knowing each other for such a short period of time she couldn't quite imagine a day without talking to him. But that was a lot, and she was tired and overwhelmed and just a little bit confused „Thank you.” was all she said, and for her it sounded lame and dumb and not enough, but Keiji just gave her the kindest of smiles.

„Always at your service.” he said, using her favourite quote, and everything felt a little bit brighter.

 

 

Right after finishing her shift she grabbed Jason and they went in his car straight to the airport. Laura looked older than she was and their mom seemed so fragile Gabby was scared she was going to break.

Yuzuru was still by Javier's side when they all entered his room and there was a flicker of panic on his face when he realized who Gabby brought with herself.

„This is Yuzuru Hanyu, he is working on the case with Javi.” she explained quickly and Laura gave him a tight smile.

„It's nice to meet you, Yuzuru.” she said and he nodded stiffly.

„I'll leave you.” he said weakly, standing up; Gabby immediately noticed that his hands were trembling and she followed him out of the room, leaving Jason and Javier's family inside.

„Hey, Yuzuru, you okay?” she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder and stopping him. Yuzuru turned to look at her and she had never seen him more moved.

„No.” he said hollowly „No.” he repeated, leaning against the wall heavily and then slowly sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. Gabby blinked with confusion, surprized. She was frantically wondering what she was supposed to do when Yuzuru looked at her, his eyes full of grief.

„I wish it was me.” he said and Gabby's breathing hitched „I'd give up everything for him to be okay.” he said, his voice breaking. He then closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall and breathing heavily, and Gabby had no idea what to do, frozen and shocked.

„Are you guys okay?”

Gabby snapped out of her daze and met Jason's worried gaze.

„We should take him to his hotel.” she just said and he nodded.

Yuzuru was barely keeping it together on the backseat, and Gabby was completely lost. She was confused, but her mind was already coming up with some explanataions, and she wasn't sure if she liked them or not.

„What's going on with him?” Jason muttered and Gabby shook her head, choosing not to share her thoughts.

„I'll go with him to make sure he's okay and then I'll catch a bus to my place.” was all she said; Jason didn't look convinced, but only nodded with a worried smile.

Gabby basically had to drag Yuzuru out of the car and all the way to his room. She couldn't help but notice that his place looked incredibly tidy and as impersonal as a hotel room could be. Yuzuru sat down on the edge of the bed, his shoulders raising heavily, and Gabby felt really, truly sorry for him.

„You're gonna be okay?” she asked gently and he glared at her, his face blank „Try to get some sleep, write that report for the chief.”

„Do you think I can visit him tomorrow?” Yuzuru asked quietly and Gabby's heart clenched.

„Why couldn't you?” she asked, but Yuzuru only stared at him, his dark eyes wide open „You know, Javi won't blame you for that. I know him.” she said surely and he laughed, hollowly and bitterly.

„It doesn't change anything.”

Gabby had no idea what to say to that, so she just gave him a tight smile and left.

 

 

Javier didn't wake up the next day either and it was so hard to watch his mom and sister so anxious, more tired with every passing hour. Gabby was trying her best, smiling and letting them cry on her shoulder, being their support. She wasn't feeling good too, but she managed to keep herself together most of the time. Talking with Keiji helped a lot; he was patient and understanding, and never let her feel guilty about her worried ramblings.

And then, three days after the shooting, he woke up.

Javier's family, she and Yuzuru were sitting in a cafeteria, sipping their coffees and trying to hold some kind of casual conversation. Yuzuru was mostly quiet and still looked like death, but Gabby noticed that Laura was glaring at him curiously, asking him some quiet questions from time to time.

Gabby was wondering too, a lot. She couldn't help but look at Yuzuru, at his exhausted, miserable expression, and slowly connecting all the pieces. She didn't want to make any assumptions, but she was under a strong impression that she could see something both Yuzuru and Javier didn't realize yet.

„Good morning everyone.” said a familiar voice near them and they all almost jumped from their chairs.

„Doctor Walsh.” Javier's mom smiled dimly, a shadow of fear in her eyes „Is everything okay?”

„He woke up.” the doctor said simply and Gabby almost passed out from the overwhelming relief „You can visit him now, but please, not all of you, he's pretty weak.”

„Run to him, I'll come back later with some friends.” Gabby smiled and Laura nodded before basically running out along with her mother.

Gabby sighed deeply, not really believing that the horrible wait was over. She turned to Yuzuru, grinning widely with happiness, but her smile faded when she saw his face.

He looked like he was about to faint.

„Yuzuru, you okay?” she asked tentatively and he blinked a few times before getting up rapidly.

„I'm gonna go.” he said, his voice weird, and Gabby frowned with confusion.

„Do you want to come back with us later-”

„I can't-” he said, his voice breaking „I can't.”

Gabby watched as he was leaving, something coiling up in her stomach, her thoughts ringing in her head. It took her exactly one minute to make a decision.

She caught him on a pavement in front of the hospital.

„Wait!” she exclaimed, grabbing his sleeve „Yuzuru, wait.”

He looked at her with eyes full of hopeless hurt.

„I can't, Gabby.” he said quietly „I can't go there and look him in the eyes and pretend that-” he stopped, like he didn't even know what he wanted to say.

But Gabby knew, kind of.

„Look, I know that you're blaming yourself for that.” she said gently „And I'd be lying if I said that I don't think it's your fault, to some extent. But Yuzuru-” she squeezed his hand „We all mess up. I just- I want you to know that he'd like to see you.”

„No.” Yuzuru shook his head, giving her a small, bitter smile „I treated him awfully. And now he's injured, because of me. I-”

„Yuzuru.” she cut him off quietly „Go to your hotel. Eat something, get some sleep. Come back tomorrow and just... show him how much you care.”

Yuzuru gaped, staring at her with wide eyes, and she just gave him one more warm smile before nodding and walking away.

 

* * *

 

< im sad and drunk

> Are you okay?

< no

< Javis going to spain

< forever

< i wanna cry

**incoming call from Keiji**

 

* * *

 

„Hey.”

Gabby raised her head and smiled.

„Hey, Yuzuru.”

„I just wanted to stop by and say goodbye.” he said and she felt a sting somewhere in her chest. The past weeks were intense, and she was seeing more him than Javier, as Yuzuru was the one who had to finish the case. During that time Gabby had finally learned to like him, maybe, even though her opinion on him was still in the making.

„You're leaving tomorrow?” she asked as he made a way to her desk.

„Tonight.” he said and she bit her lip, wondering.

„Are you gonna see Javi before you leave?”

A corner of his mouth twitched.

„Maybe.”

Gabby surpressed a sigh. She didn't want to meddle, but she had witnessed some things that made her wish they would just talk honestly.

„Good luck.” was all she said, reaching out to shake his hand.

„You too, Gabby.” he said with a smile „And thank you, for everything.”

„Always at your service,”

 

She cried her eyes out when they threw Javier a small suprize goodbye party at the station, but almost everyone was crying, including Javier; his eyes were all foggy and shining, but Gabby could tell that he was excited for a change, for maybe finding a place where he really, truly belonged.

„I'm gonna miss you so much.” she whispered when he hugged her goodbye, and he chuckled against her ear.

„I'm gonna miss you too.” he said softly „Visit me sometime, okay?”

„When I finally get a raise.”

She would miss him, so damn much, but she only wanted the best for him, and she hoped he would find whatever and whomever he needed.

 

* * *

 

 

The new guy that came to take Javier's place was nice, but so bland and boring Gabby couldn't really find any common language with him. Work felt a bit weird, but she still had Keiji to text to and she was skyping with Javier almost every week. Maybe life wasn't exactly as she wanted it, but it was nice, and she wasn't alone.

 

 

< **jpg355**

< summer is the beeeest

> Wow nice view!

< You mean me or the lake?

 

* * *

 

 

When Yuzuru called her all of the sudden she almost spat out her drink. Last time they had talked to each other was half a year earlier, a short goodbye in her office. She had no idea why was he calling her now and she was confused beyond belief.

„Hello.” she answered the call hesitantly and Yuzuru cleared his throat awkwardly.

„Hi, Gabby. Look, I'm calling because I need your help.”

„Okay?”

A moment of silence filled only with Yuzuru's deep breathing.

„Could you tell me Javier's adress?”

At that, she spilled her drink.

„What?”

„I need to see him. But I don't- I can't bring myself to call him. I just- I've to see him.” there was determination in his voice, and Gabby hesitated.

„Wait, let me get this straight. You're going to go to show up in Madrid and go to Javi without letting him know?”

„Well, yes.” Yuzuru said, and then „But I'm already here.”

„In Madrid?!”

„Yes.”

„Oh my god.” Gabby laughed, almost hysterically „You're more smitten than I thought.”

Yuzuru made a surprized sound and Gabby sobered up in a heartbeat. She hesitated for a moment and then sighed deeply, giving in.

„I'll give you his work adress.” she said firmly and he breathed out deeply, with relief.

„Thank you.”

„You better. But let me tell you, if you hurt him, I'm gonna hunt you down and drop your body in the middle of the ocen, do you understand?”

„- yes.”

„Great.” she said and then decided to throw a piece of her dignity out of the window „But you need to answer one question.”

„Sure?”

„Do Japanese people understand flirting?”

 

* * *

 

> Hey Gabby! So I really want to thank you for giving Yuzu my work adress. You're the real mvp

< Obviously.

< Are you happy?

> So much it's almost scary.

< Good. You deserve it.

< Say hi to Yuzuru from me.

 

* * *

 

< It's 10 minutes till midnight in Tokyo, so: happy new year, Keiji!

< (yes I'm at work)

> Thank you!!!

> I'll wait till your midnight with wishes.

< Cool. I've a wish tho.

< On the next new year's eve you're coming over.

> I am?

< yes

< also, I hope you'll start understanding my flirting

> WAIT there was flirting???

< oh my GOD

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Hate it? Let me know in the comments and thank you so much for reading!  
> (I might add another chapter later or write another story in this style, we'll see how it goes!)


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